Choosing Is Better Than Waiting to Be Chosen
“The world doesn’t give you things, you take things.”
Choosing
Some time amid my university career, I found myself in a state of perpetual waiting.
I waited for new friends to find and initiate friendships with me. I waited for romantic interests to initiate dates with me. I waited for editors to recruit me.
I waited for experiences to start happening to me. I waited for life to start noticing me. In John Green’s words, I waited for my own ‘Great Perhaps’.
All in all, I waited to be chosen.
I waited for these things to somehow figure out my existence, come knock on my door, and boldly claim me.
I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited, and still, my Great Perhaps did not come.
Until I realised, that is not how life works.
Nothing and no one is coming to save or choose me — at least not if I don’t put myself out there. It is 100% up to me to create the reality and life experience that I want.
It is up to me to start choosing.
Waiting to be chosen
Most of us spend a huge chunk of our lives sitting on the sidelines like a wallflower and keep waiting for things to happen to us.
We wait for a particular friend group to choose and accept us. We wait for a potential partner to make their move. We wait for a design agency, editor, or soccer club to acknowledge and recruit us.
We wait to be chosen.
But the thing is, all the things we want are on the other side of us choosing them.
All the things we want are on the other side of a, “Hi, I like your Marvel t-shirt, wanna go watch the latest Thor at the cinema this weekend?” or “Greetings, I write about x, y, z and I think my writing could be a good fit for your publication…” or ‘Hey, here’s a portfolio of my designs, I think I’d be a good fit for your agency.”
All the things we want are just there on the other side of us deciding we are worthy of pursuing them.
So what if they say no and we are rejected? So what if we’re not their cup of tea? So what if the doors are slammed shut right in our faces?
We went right after what we wanted and that is a commendable start.
Because waiting to be chosen is giving up self-autonomy and responsibility for our own lives. It is placing our worth and value in someone else’s hands.
It is robbing ourselves of all that could be.
As American Author, Nora Roberts so beautifully captures this concept:
“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.”
The beauty of choosing
The thing about us choosing is that it is entirely up to us as we go for nothing less than our desires.
Everything we choose is exactly what we want and thus we do not settle.
We go for the potential friend we like, the potential partner we fancy, and the potential job we crave.
We go for our desired prospect.
Choosing gives us the freedom to bring into life the reality we want.
Start choosing
Today, I have friends, romantic prospects, a part-time job, and a life worth busting my ass for during the week so I can wholeheartedly enjoy over the weekend.
However, it was only after I started choosing.
Choosing the people I wanted to be around me, choosing the places I wanted to frequent, choosing the work I wanted to do, choosing the activities I wanted to partake in, and choosing the life experiences I wanted to experience.
Sometimes you just have to stop sitting on the sidelines, stop being a wallflower, and start holding the pen to the narration of your own story.
“Don’t be afraid to grab life by the balls, dear.” — Taylor Jenkins Reid, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo
So start choosing.
Start making your wants known to you and start going after them.
It could be the one thing needed to change the ambiance and trajectory of your entire life.
𝕌𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕝 𝕟𝕖𝕩𝕥 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖, ℕ𝕠𝕝𝕨𝕒𝕫𝕚 (:
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